Paying it Forward

I met this young woman when I started as a rookie executive assistant. I was new to the role and eager to connect with fellow assistants like myself. God, forbid I would think I am at the same level as those seasoned Executive Assistants. I did not realize that I needed endless years of experience before considering myself an excellent Executive Assistant or worthy of a similar title.

Anyway, this young woman was so kind to me over the phone. I still had not met her in person, nor could I pick her out of a crowd. I knew she was soft-spoken, had a sweet voice, and, while humble; she had this aura of kindness that I sensed every time we spoke!

She would calmly answer my questions with patience, and her words, chosen so carefully, were gracious. One time on our phone conversation to book a couple of meetings, I told her, “You know I am new at this, and you have been so nice and helpful. We really should meet face to face.” So, she laughed and said, “That’s true, Amal! We should meet since we talk to each other daily. We could at least put a face to the name.” So, we planned a date and time and agreed to meet.

Though I am trying to make this story short, I can see that I’m not particularly good at writing short stories! So, I will do something now I NEVER do with my friends.

I’m going to fast forward…right to the part we met and created a bond that started as colleagues at work and grew into this cherished friendship. The thing is, this young woman had seen me through all sorts of challenges at work at the time when I was a newbie. She helped introduce me to the right people to make my life easy at work and joyous, and she took the same commuter train as I did.

While on the train, she took every opportunity to extend her friendship circle with me. She believed in paying it forward, and just her luck, I was ripe to receive positive payment of any kind! I was in the middle of a restructuring within my department and was lost as to what that change would look like. We discussed different scenarios and whether it will be a positive or negative change. Her advice at the time was, “hang in there; you are a good person, Amal; if you move on and support another executive, this may be good for you. You never know until you try it, and if you don’t like it, I will help you find another role.”

Fast forward, I did go with the new change; however, it was something I did not choose but forced upon me. Working as an Executive Assistant can be pretty challenging when “the fit” or chemistry between the Executive and the Assistant is not there. Tension and irritation over minor annoyances are magnified tenfold and can be difficult to navigate daily.

I had tried in many ways to make it work, but it just didn’t seem the right fit. My new friend and I had discussed plans to look for other roles internally, and she would ask around for me. Having known me for a brief time, she stuck her neck out for me, recommended me to a retiring Assistant, and asked her to meet with me and interview me for her role. “Why are you helping me? You have been kind and patient; honestly, I don’t understand why?” She told me that someone did a good deed for her in the past, and she has never forgotten the promise she made to God and herself to “pay it forward.”

Now was that time, she felt, about using that opportunity with me. She must have known inside that I would honor and choose to pay it forward when I can; to someone who needs it. Honestly, she shocked me because I was not used to meeting people who live as such in a work environment of all places. It was a profound experience on many levels, building and cultivating friendships in the workplace that stay with you forever.

Paying it forward is about.

• Helping someone by opening doors for others when needed, anywhere on a professional or personal level, there are no limits!
• Sharing your wisdom on leadership, vulnerability, calendar management, tasks that can make life easy on the job, tips, and tricks on using PowerPoint presentations, etc.
• Helping a newbie in the role learn the dos and don’ts
• Sharing your best practices
• How to command a conference call with twenty other Executive Assistants that are more senior than you
• How to navigate work politics, cultures, and teams
• How to network and use those connections for the greater good.
• How to build a strong network of Executive Assistants; to draw upon each other as a resource or mentoring
• Be gracious (in giving) with your time
• Using the simple act of a small gesture for some hits “the feels” more significant than the grand ones.

So, if you can pay it forward to a fellow Administrative Professional/Executive Assistant, think of what you can do to make another Assistant life easy; it is kindness, lending an ear. A soft place to vent? Be a trusted source of comfort.

I have met many wonderful Executive Assistants over the years and am blessed and grateful to each of them. Their valuable advice and acceptance of my rookie ways helped me to grow professionally and build those relationships beyond work. I thank them all for the support and encouragement they have given me, for cheering me on my successes, and for being there to catch me when I fall, supporting me, free from judgment.