Appreciation – Sharing yourself from the heart

This topic is remarkably close to me and carries so much baggage on a personal and professional level. The reason I have come to put so much value on appreciation started in childhood. We all want to feel appreciated and valued for our contributions, whether professionally or personally. Often the foundation of this value begins in our early years.

I genuinely believe what Brene Brown wrote in her book ‘The Gift of Imperfections,’ “in the absence of love and belonging, there is always hurt.” I believe this feeling I carried through as a child of never quite being good enough, smart enough, obedient enough, pretty enough, etc., and transitioned into adulthood. This feeling resonates with you too.

Even as an executive assistant, I never felt “good enough” for my managers, co-workers, and team members that I’d supported through each role. With each move to different departments within the same organization, through all my accomplishments helping others succeed in their roles, there was always this nagging feeling that “something is missing.”

The more I produced and provided excellent work, the more people took, I thought that would be appreciated, but unfortunately, it was never really the case! All it did was continue the cycle of feeling undervalued and unappreciated for the work submitted. Frequently, when no one takes the time to put a deposit in your “I appreciate you” bank account, it creates feelings of resentment or negativity towards the work you are passionate about.

As if the lights turned off from deep within, these are uncomfortable feelings to shake when your accomplishments are not acknowledged, much less celebrated. Managers should learn to get in the habit of appreciating their employees and team members. If you want to foster an environment that celebrates, grows, success or failure, it all starts with appreciation.

My favorite quotation from Albert Schweitzer “Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. We owe the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.”

Let me share a personal story; I have decided to move to a new organization, leaving the one I invested time in and where my career as an Executive Assistant began. This was not an easy decision for me on so many levels. I knew it had to be done for a bigger plan in the future that I may not be able to see right now. I had to trust and hope that the change was for the better. With mixed emotions, I leaped to make a change that would impact me professionally and personally.

I have had the fortune of speaking with other Executive Assistants about feeling valued for their work. The reality of feeling valued for their contribution boiled down to the following questions asked of themselves.

• Do you need to continue to feel undervalued for the work you do?
• Do you want to work for an organization that does not see an Executive Assistant role as a business partner and contributor to the organization?
• Do you want to be in an environment that fosters true collaboration and teamwork? Or pretend as such.

These questions have helped support my decision to leap. Change is not easy and having the guts to move forward for a new chapter and rebuild a new story requires strength and resiliency. My personal past experiences have taught me to see God’s timing as an opportunity for his soft and safe landing for me!

As I started to say my farewell to colleagues and team members, a few stood out, genuinely expressing appreciation. There it was, and gratitude was given, which I am genuinely grateful to receive. It is good to know that what I do daily as a professional has positively impacted someone’s life—a sense of fulfilled accomplishments set in.

Looking back to the transition, I think of a quote from Mother Teresa that sums up how I choose to live my life: “Be kind and merciful. Let no one ever come to you without coming away better and happier.” That, to me, is the gift of appreciation!

And to that end, and on a personal note, I have found the simple truths of appreciation are:

• Everyone wants and needs it
• It doesn’t have to be something big
• Appreciation is a gift you can give anyone you encounter- it is entirely your choice.
• Make it personal
• Be creative
• Surprise people if you can
• Be sincere
• Have a plan
• Share yourself from the heart
• Make it memorable
• You will receive more than you give

The one I live by and enjoy the most is Sharing myself from the heart. It’s bringing my authentic self to every situation with actions, words, and passion for spreading joy to someone else who needs it the most.