What Have You Done to Help Others in Need?

It was one of those days I had at work where I felt nothing, I do is good enough. It didn’t matter how hard I worked or who I helped. The more tasks I took to receive an acknowledgment from my boss for the extra work, the more it fell on deaf ears and a blind eye.

The reality for me is that it did not matter what I did. I supported someone who was a self-centered individual. They lacked the sense of ‘let’s stop and think about rewarding or appreciating the employees that take on more responsibilities. Every time I have taken an extra task, event, or project over and above, it was carried out effortlessly and flawlessly. As I had been told long ago about taking on extra work, the result was that it would go unappreciated and taken for granted. Whatever the results and keeping positive, I was hoping for the opposite reaction I had received.

The story I am sharing with you today was one of those days I was feeling down. I came home hoping for an emotional uplift from my family. My son was very quiet, so I asked him about school today. “Why the long face?” he started crying and told me that the kids in school don’t like him. He went on to say that he had a rough day at school in religion class. The teacher asked the kids to share stories about their actions to help others in need. Nicholas told me he froze in class as he could not answer the question.

He felt incapable and started to cry in front of the whole class because he realized he had never helped anyone. In his own words, this boy described himself as ‘not good enough and lacks compassion’ Nicholas explained how he could be so selfish that he did not once stop to think about helping others in need. The tears kept rolling down his cheeks as he tried to lick them so he could taste his salty tears. Kids and the things they do!

I realized right then; my son was in desperate need of comfort and understanding as he thought he was this horrible human being. It’s ironic what God is trying to teach me at that moment through my son’s hard day at school, which was the same feeling I felt, but, in this instance, my son needed comfort more than I did.

The lesson learned was that I needed to remind Nicholas that he is a loving child who was created with a higher purpose in life, and God has a plan for his future. I told Nicholas that while he may not understand, all he needed to be, for now, is a child of God with an open heart and strong faith. Faith to believe in things that cannot be seen but walk in obedience to his Heavenly Father. I reminded him that he does help those in need throughout the year. I reminded him about the times we donated toys, books, shoes, and clothes to charity and church with and at times without him present.

Every winter and summer at minimum, Nicholas and I go through all these toys, books, shoes, and clothes he has outgrown, and we pile them up in bags for donations. This exercise happens throughout the year. He was taught from a young age that the simple act of donating will bring happiness and joy to other kids who are in need. He forgot about it mainly because he was only part of going through his items and putting them into bags. I realized it was my fault that I should have included him each time we took those items over to the church or a charity, so he could see what happened to them next.

I realized that I needed to point out to him that the acts of kindness and generosity he often does must have seemed like second nature, and he did not even think to mention it. This incredible young boy seemed to misunderstand what an act of kindness looked like daily. In his mind, they had to be these big grand gestures of kindness to count.

So, as you can imagine, as a mother, I felt I failed him. How could he put such pressure on himself? Did I do that to him, or did society and social media contribute to the feeling of inadequacy?

So, I decided to talk to him about some acts of kindness he has done and continues to do. It was apparent Nicholas needed a reminder of his actions of compassion and love and that they often take place in the simplest of forms. After all, we are each vulnerable, afraid, and imperfect, but we are always worthy of love and belonging.

Our discussion opened his eyes to the following:

• Giving up his room for his grandmother when she was staying with us during her cancer operation and treatment (while he slept on the air mattress)
• When friends have birthdays, he is always excited to buy them toys that they cannot afford (the intention of his heart is always in the right place)
• He donated over 250 books to his school library because they needed new books for the kids. (He did this twice in two different schools)
• When he sees me sick, he steps up to wash the dishes for me and help with cleaning
• When his little cousins are visiting his grandmother’s house, he feels like the big brother reading to them, entertaining and chasing around looking after them
• When he gives his lunch to kids in school because they like what he had, and he comes home hungry at the end of the day
• His daily prayers are for his family members to get well, get a job, ask for good health, etc.

When I pointed these out, his face lit up, and he started to feel better. He was so hard on himself about this and thought that he did not contribute to easing the pain of others around him. I tried to tell him the lesson here is about the human condition and the intentions of your heart. Generosity is about giving without expecting anything in return. The act of kindness is not measured by how grand or small they are.

It’s about giving from the heart and aiding others, even if that means just listening to their hurt without judgment. When lending a shoulder to someone to cry on, giving your time to uplift them when they are down, these simple gestures will help you grow spiritually.

To that end, I learned my lesson from this discussion with my son. That same day when I was feeling down and hard on myself, I realized that if I was going to comfort my son, I better believe in those exact words that had come out of my mouth earlier.

Life will continue to challenge us, whether personally or professionally. The key is not to let it take us down but rather learn from those experiences. It is equally essential for us to also remind ourselves about the good we do and that we are worthy; as a good friend of mine used to say, “people teach you how to treat them,” noting that you need not miss those lessons when they happen to you.

So, I say this to all the new Executive Assistants out there. As an Executive Assistant, you are in a role that comes from a place of service where you do the little things and the big things.  Some of those days, the things you do will get noticed, and often won’t. It would help if you decided how you would measure your accomplishments; how you feel about yourself and your contributions versus waiting on others to validate your efforts.

Small FYI, you will end up waiting a long time for that, as you can’t change people’s behaviors or actions, but you are definitely in control of how you react to them.

Remember that what you do is a support role with qualities and traits that stem from a place of service, care, intuition, and excellence. It’s a mindset, after all. Either you have it, or you don’t, and if you struggle with it, that means you are in the wrong profession. If you choose to be thoughtful in your actions and support others, I have learned that the act of ‘doing’ is rewarding to me.

As evidence for me, thoughtfulness fills my cup every time; it doesn’t cost much, so I am a firm believer in doing with thoughtfulness!