What to do when You’ve Been Underestimated

So many of us have constant feelings of undervaluation. When someone makes it apparent they don’t expect much from you, whether by subtly offensive language or overt obnoxiousness, it’s a sobering smack. It can show up in numerous situations, both personally and professionally.

Even when you succeed at your job, the gatekeepers won’t let you in, pay you what you’re worth, or recognize your potential. Some of your friends or family members look genuinely surprised when you meet someone amazing or get promoted.

This microaggression may be brought on by race, gender, age, socioeconomic conditions, personality differences, foolish competition, or any of the abovementioned factors. Receiving such messages is upsetting, no matter the motivation.

According to a clinical psychologist, when people underestimate us, they burden us with unfavorable presumptions that can destabilize us and cause us to doubt our skills. Being undervalued causes trauma to one’s self-identity. It feels like you’re being told or exposed to be a fraud.

 

Why do we undervalue or overvalue things?

We frequently overrate others’ positive characteristics and underrate their flaws. In our minds, this inconsistency is understandable.

It’s logical that if you have known someone for a time, you will find it far simpler to recall their positive traits than their negative ones.

We frequently have self-doubt as a result of what people say about us. They may be somewhat correct, but many things are invisible to someone looking in from the outside (or vice versa!).

 

Therefore, why do people undervalue us:

1. You haven’t done it before.
   Everybody must begin somewhere. Sure, you could make more mistakes when you’re doing something new. As a rookie, you lack awareness of prospective obstacles. On the other hand, though. You frequently have an open mind when you are learning something new. You haven’t been damaged by bad encounters in the past. But the doubters fail to recognize that attitude matters as much as experience. A lot of the heavy lifting may be done by attitude, resilience, and determination. Remember that lack of experience does not equate to incompetence when you are undervalued.

 

2. People are quick to pass judgment.
   Unfortunately, it occurs frequently. People immediately determine that you are incompetent or incapable of doing XYZ without getting to know you well.- You keep to yourself.-You speak too loudly.-You lack assertiveness or are excessively so-You act overly aggressive

   -You’re less lively.

   -Not much fun! A strict stance, etc.

   Sometimes, these opinions turn into outright biases based on sexual orientation, age, gender, or color.

 

3. They are unaware of the previous work you have completed. Your critics are unaware of their own ignorance. Their perspective is limited; therefore, your objective could appear ambitious. What if they were aware of the study, courses, and training you had completed before opening your business?Or how, before your 9 to 5 employment, you constantly worked on your project daily? Or that before starting your current profession, you have years of experience in a different sector? Their viewpoint would change as a result of that information.The final word? They are unaware of your potential.

 

4. They are underestimating your abilities rather than you because of their own experience. Each person carries baggage and holds biases. When people undervalue you, it’s frequently more about them than you.

 

Why do we think others are superior to us?

1. You suffer from impostor syndrome.
2. You’ve been socialized, whether consciously or unconsciously, to accept criticism.
3. Over time, your perception of yourself was formed based on the opinions of others.
4. You are less significant than other individuals because, as humans, we have a natural tendency to value things unique from those of others.
5. Although you have been taught to blend in and follow the crowd, these are only social constructions that aren’t always true for everyone.
6. Because you don’t want to be rejected, you are afraid to shine.
7. You don’t have faith in your abilities to succeed.
8. You’re too harsh with yourself.
9. You assess yourself against others.
10. You give failures too much attention at the expense of success.
11. You give reasons why you can’t achieve your objectives.
12. You speak in “shoulds” when expressing your emotions.
13. You dwell on issues for much too long.
14. You are reluctant to communicate your needs and wants.
15. You’ve experienced trauma in the past.
16. You make snap judgments about people depending on how they seem.
17. You seek justifications for failing.
18. You give undue attention to minor details that detract from the greater picture and keep you from taking advantage of essential possibilities. You must accept your imperfection and the messiness of human nature if you wish to alter the course of your current circumstance.

 

How to overlook the skeptics and continue to believe in yourself

• Remove your rose-colored glasses and begin by being brutally honest with yourself and start asking the right questions. As long as you speak to the right people, asking for input is a smart idea.
• Leverage your skills by being aware of what you excel in and how to use them most effectively to achieve your objective.
• Change your mindset and learn to value the “journey.” Although your objective and final destination are important, what you learn along the journey is more significant. Use a growth mentality, take responsibility for your mistakes, and move on. Focus on growth rather than perfection.
• Set measurable and specific goals.
• The greatest approach to establishing yourself is to show, not tell; do it for yourself (and to prove them wrong). Why argue with those who are skeptical? Focus on the following steps and trust your instincts. It’s simple to offer unwanted advice. Consistently carrying out what you must do each day is more difficult. Your aim and other people’s perspectives will change if you show up and make progress, no matter how small.
• Stop requesting permission; do you obsess too much about what people think? Is getting advice worthwhile? Absolutely. But much too frequently, people speak up of their own volition. Your response is entirely up to you. Ask yourself this question for a moment: Why do I care?
• What does it matter if someone undervalues you and turns out to be correct? Letting go of what other people think has power, but it also requires dedication to be true to who you are and what you believe (and is a lifelong struggle for many of us). However, it’s also necessary for leading a meaningful life.
• Shake off the expectations that people have of you; when you are underappreciated, it’s important to understand that the situation’s reality has nothing to do with your inner potential.
• When you’re feeling undervalued, it can help to concentrate on what you can manage because you have no influence over what other people believe or do. Recognize your positive self-perceptions because we frequently seek outside approval.
• We may recognize how we show up for that also affects what attracts us if we can begin to examine our values, look at what’s important, and how we’re showing up in our own lives.
• When you’re underappreciated in your professional life, widen your social circle. You can put yourself on a more favorable route in a distinctive (even if virtual) environment by stepping outside your professional or industry-specific social groups and connecting with others in different ways. Joining an intellectual organization unrelated to your line of work can be beneficial if you want to develop a new interpersonal style that shows you have something to contribute.
• If you are only viewing the world through the eyes of those who have already found fault with you, all that does is challenge how you see yourself.
• Rallying strategic support is important. It also helps to surround yourself with positive people working hard to achieve similar objectives. These people should be motivated, ambitious, and competitive in a way that encourages one another rather than out of insecurity.
• Play the long game and keep moving forward despite the doubters. Although maintaining a long-term perspective for your vision can sometimes be difficult, try to conceive of things in decades rather than days, weeks, or years.
• Don’t undervalue yourself; the impostor syndrome was imposed on us to deceive us.
• Be outraged; anger, redemption, and revenge are powerful motivators when you are underappreciated. They represent normal parts of our coping mechanisms. It’s quite simple to turn the tables at the time and put the underestimating offender straight into place by stating, “Huh, that’s fascinating,” once you know that someone is attempting to embarrass, gaslight, or humiliate you (by underestimating you). A simple response of ” We’ll have to agree to disagree” or something similar should work. They feel uneasy since you don’t care what they think of you.

 

Final thoughts

Being underappreciated might motivate you. Sometimes taking a risk is much more fulfilling than being told you can’t. Whatever your goal and regardless of the result, it’s crucial to take what you learn from the process and use it now (or in the future).

Be frank, thoughtful, and brave enough to ignore the doubters. Keep in mind that many people like watching the underdog succeed. Learn about those folks that do.