Manage Challenging Personalities in the Workplace

For teams to collectively come together and accomplish goals, leaders and HR professionals need to understand styles and dynamics within a team or group of individuals. Each team member is uniquely different, and what motivates one team member doesn’t necessarily motivate another. At the same time, some leaders rely on these personality tests to get a baseline and understanding of the dynamics of a different team member. The question becomes, how do you use this newfound information practically in real-time?

The answer to that is mindfulness and coaching. What do I mean by that? To thoughtfully provide some perspective on the matter, leaders and HR professionals must first understand the values of each member within a team. What drives their performance, what drains their performance, and how can you tie their skill-set and talent to the overall goals and objectives of the department or organization. Think about it as creating a process map for individual team members and collectively as a department under one umbrella.

I know you probably think that’s a time-consuming exercise, maybe so. Still, if you are serious about creating a respectful environment where team members feel valued, appreciated, and rewarded according to their strength and the different perspectives they bring to the team; it is then worth the time and effort to collectively map out how each contribution matters to the overall success of the group. Allowing each team member to define what success looks like is a great starting point toward a healthy, productive workplace environment—creating the ideal environment among team members reducing clashing egos insecurities, and illuming inclusivity and diverse views.

Your goal, as a workplace leader, is to eliminate the negative impact of challenging personalities such as the independents, the unmotivated, the poor communicator, the passive-aggressive, the narcissist, the control freak, the aloof, the blamer, and the gossiper, to say the least. Oh, and while we’re at it, let’s add one more, the flyer, a highly emotional personality type who at any point in time may “fly off the handle.” The flyer has also been dubbed the “drama queen” or “drama king.” This particular personality type often shows a pattern of attention-seeking, need for excitement, excessive emotionality, and exaggeration to maintain largely superficial relationships to get their emotional needs met.

The good news: there are strategies to turn team chaos into highly functional team members. Whether emotional drama queens or slackers, all these challenging individuals can consume so much of your time and energy. Let’s explore some of these strategies below.

 

Strategies for Effective Communication with Challenging  Personalities

 

1. Flattery often works. Show them that the concept of teamwork increases their influence—their expertise will be essential for meeting team goals.
2. Assigning a specific task or a project can be highly effective in encouraging an employee to start pulling their weight on the team.
3. A dose of self-confidence helps. Many poor communicators are simply insecure, afraid to say something that may make them look foolish. Let them know mistakes are pretty standard in the learning experience; it’s not fatal.
4. Understand that some employees will never fit into a team framework. If you can’t turn around these employees with training, then it may be that the role is not the right fit. Consider aligning them with a position that fits within their areas of strength.
5. Make it clear to the team that success is when team members work together, leaning on each other’s strengths, as their performance will be measured on how much they contribute to team goals.
6. Try being flexible with your communication style based on the various personalities you deal with at the office. You can control some of those adjustments in your team interactions and may help you connect with a co-worker a bit better, who has a different personality and communication style than your own.
7. Use direct communication to confront problems head-on in the office (be sure to remain tactful). Candor and care can co-exist. Frequently, even the most difficult personalities can surprise you if you give them the chance to understand how their behavior impacts the team and yourself.
8. Never jump to conclusions or assume anything about a situation until you’ve had a chance to communicate directly with a difficult personality or you have verified the information.
9. Build and practice your self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and wise compassion as a leader. You have the responsibility of managing individuals; it’s a huge responsibility to shoulder if you haven’t built the internal resources within to help support you during a stressful and challenging time or otherwise manage difficult personalities.
10. Understanding that belonging matters- the elements of belonging at work means you feel seen for your unique contributions, connected to your co-workers, supported in your daily work and career development, and proud of your organization’s values and purpose. You got to practice what you preach, led by example in real-time. Choose courage over comfort.
11. Actively listen. Make an effort to understand what another person is saying before responding fully. Show them your full attention, make eye contact, and don’t take calls, check your email, or interrupt, during your conversation with them. Always check for understanding by paraphrasing what they have said but use your own words. It’s an effective way to confirm or clarify information.
12. Be sure your employees know where they can go for information, answers, and coaching. Encourage people to sign up for training or other learning and development opportunities to encourage professional growth. Discuss how projects and short-term, cross-functional team assignments are excellent ways to learn and add new skills. Continue regularly to stress the importance of learning new things.
13. As much as possible, explain your decisions. When you give reasons for your choices, it demonstrates respect for your employees and will reduce any misunderstandings, misperceptions, hurt feelings, or the spread of rumors. For example, people will want to hear why you decide to cancel a meeting or a project. What were the primary considerations that went into the decision, and who was involved in making it? Explain as much as you can. Speak clearly and avoid “office speak jargon” so you won’t be misinterpreted.
14. Very often, businesses must shift quickly in response to sudden changes in economic conditions. In short, do not make promises you cannot keep. Avoid making any promises to your employees that you will need to retract shortly after. Instead, use language that does not over-promise.
15. Make sure you carve out time to review and explain your employee’s goals. When employees feel connected to the business and understand how their actions can support it, there is greater productivity and of course, less employee turnover. This has been a consistent theme in team leadership research. Reviewing individual goals is a productive way to spend your time as a leader. Additionally, tying the work to organizational objectives helps employees understand not only their own work but also the business overall as well.

Food for Thought

There is one universal truth at our most basic human level, whether challenging personalities or toxic workplaces; when we are seen, connected at work, supported, and proud of our work and the organization, it is the essential element of belonging. Additionally, the theory of wise compassion is built upon the leader’s ability to be a caring presence, caring courage, caring directness, and caring transparency to enhance trust, psychological safety, and performance among team members. In reality, a lot of the work toxicity is about us being able to drop our point of view be open to the situations and the emotional agendas that we hold on to. Fears, hopes, lack of trust/lack of respect/aggressions/passive-aggressiveness, perfectionism tendencies, narcissism, and deeming behavior towards each other can often be the source of toxicity and difficulty.

Mindful leaders who draw on mindfulness deal with ambiguity and challenging situations in a new and different way. As mindfulness enhances leaders’ abilities to interact with others, maintain perspective, and attune with others’ emotional states and their own.