Learning & Developing Emotional Intelligence – Part 2

If you missed part one, tap here. To show emotional intelligence (EI) implies that we need to establish a set of inborn qualities that will assist with strengthening our mental well-being daily. The listing below has five ways we can all follow aside from professional EI training to grow in our own selves and be mindful of it.

 Negative Emotions

Emotional intelligence relies on our ability to identify and manage our emotions. How well we can work on our feelings and self-regulate our negative emotions will help build our resiliency and equip us to handle stress better. Identifying the feelings that bring us down and understanding how we are feeling in a specific moment or situation are less likely to make us feel overwhelmed by external factors that may drain our mental energy.

So, where do we start? I’ve listed some of the things that were shared with me over time by others or my work in that area to develop within myself:

• When someone says or does something that causes you to be upset, whether using harsh words or offensive jokes, what most people advise in this situation is not react immediately.

Take a moment, a pause, remove yourself from the heat of that moment and take the time to collect your thoughts and choose your responses wisely.

• Don’t jump to conclusions. Keep your thoughts and feelings in check, so it does not end up clouding your reactions or judgment in the situation.
• When interpersonal conflict or distress at play, make time to investigate the situation at hand from the other person’s perspective. What are the cause and effects?  Try to place yourself in their shoes, understanding what made the other person behave in that way.  You will notice how your attitude changes the moment you start empathizing rationally with their situation.
  Empathizing does not have to mean a win-lose position. Empathy does not mean weakness or agreement; it means arriving at conclusions and allowing diverse views respectfully.

Self-Evaluation

While it is a skill to be able to observe and understand others, it is equally essential at first to watch ourselves.  To increase our awareness and to develop emotional intelligence, we need to objectively assess ourselves and peer inside into our own actions as if we are a fly on the wall. To challenge our thoughts by frequently asking questions such as;

• Is this the right way of thinking?
• What about the words I have used to express myself? How these words came across to the other person?
• What would have been my reaction if I was the one to be at the receiving end to it?
• Is there another way, prospective, or angle that was missed or helped support looking into the situation differently?
• Am I on the right track?
• Is my family, colleague, friend, etc., happy with me?

Frequent encounters with the self-enhance perception create humility and keep you grounded together, as a result, will contribute to building emotional intelligence.

Self-Expression

Self-expression is the expression of one’s feelings, ideas, or thoughts, whether in art, life, personally, or professionally; it goes hand in hand with emotional intelligence. One cannot do without the other.

Individuals who can identify and express their thoughts in an adequate way and socially acceptable manner are considered to be highly emotional intelligence and self-efficacy individuals.

Honing self-expression is how we bring our focus to healthy communication with others, the ability to convey our thoughts naturally in an understandable way, and creating solutions with good intentions.  Being able to express ourselves to communicate with others appropriately about how we feel, this step alone is considered a positive one towards a more solution-focused base and self-regulated individual.

Stress Management

Past studies have shown that people with emotional clarity and awareness are far better at handling stress than others. Whether in the workplace or a highly stressful situation, be it a family or health crisis, stress and burnout cause us overall to respond poorly and impact our emotional capabilities, which as a result, influence how we react.

It is vital to understand that to achieve tremendous success professionally, this doesn’t only happen because we are great at our jobs. Success is a byproduct of how we view the world around us, how we handle our emotions, and how self-aware we are with ourselves and our surroundings.

More exposure to stress without having sufficient coping mechanisms and strategies to help us, we open ourselves to a mixed bag of mental health problems.

We should consciously work on simple stress reduction methods using our senses and staying close to nature. I find staying close to nature helps me a lot in calming down and breathing in the fresh air.

Simple stress management techniques can also make a significant difference in dealing with hardships without getting drained, such as:

• Splash of cold water on your face after a stressful encounter. The cooling sensation tends to help reduce anxiety and provides a feeling of freshness. Similarly, when you think of a picture that is frozen in time, your mind will capture a pause to take place, then restarts new again.
• Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and smoke during hard times. People resort to these substances more during stressful situations; it is best to avoid such stimulants when you feel anxious.
• Take time off work, schedule vacation when stress takes a toll on your body and mind. Go away, recharge, energize, spend some quality time with family or catch up with some friends. Time spent well rested will help you regain insights and build your ability to combat stress more effectively.

Making Empathy A Daily Habit

Being able to understand that empathy is the capacity to see anything through someone other than yourself will come with practice as you make room for it to become a daily habit. Learning what causes others to act in this fashion or that requires significant progress to be made in the development of your emotional intelligence.

Lastly, empathy begins within yourself. Random acts of kindness, such as a “thank-you note,” an offer to help aging parents, friends or relatives, whatever they might need; perhaps heart-to-heart conversations are all that it takes to practice leading an empathetic life.

The key is to be willing to let your vulnerability to be seen. Opening ourselves, whether listening to a colleague without judging them or accepting harsh words from one who may be under stress, can greatly build our social and emotional intelligence connection, thereby strengthening interpersonal bonds.

What are some of the techniques that help you develop your emotional intelligence? I would love to hear some comments or insights on the topic….