Micro-Managing Effects: Can You Change It?

I once worked in a company as an Executive Assistant to a Senior Vice-president. I had to work on projects with one of my bosses direct reports, who at first impression was friendly, easy going and welcoming. Sounds great right? Oh well, that didn’t last long.

It turns out the VP was newly promoted. Big jump as for some indeed. This is true especially if the leader does not see the employee ready for such giant overstep into a VP role. In many cases, fast tracking employees does not allow for learning the managerial skills needed to prepare them.

Anyway, I had to work with the VP on projects, that involved conference & executive meetings, agendas, and executive presentations. The VP had been working in the organization for a while by today’s standards. While the VP had the knowledge, they were a control freak. The VP only cared about their team, but that was a toxic relationship as well.

This VP was one of those who were last minute with their requests and deliveries. Presentations that normally took a few days, would take weeks to pull together data and analytics due, as they had to be a part of all information gathering from other contributing sources and departments, even though they had delegated those tasks.

Every time I had worked with this VP, they drove me nuts micromanaging every move, every email I sent, every task I needed to do. Nothing was ever good enough for the VP, because it was not quite done their way (this VP was the only one that understood the audience, and the business or at least that’s what they thought as this VP knew it all…)

The VPs working style affected how I worked and did my job. I was frustrated. I knew how to do my job and do it very well. I am quite the capable EA and have never had to deal with being micro-managed or answer to someone other than the executive I supported.

This was a new experience for me, that brought new challenges and required some learnings from my end. I have tried to coach this person politely and steer them towards building trust between us, that the task will be done in an efficient way. But that did not last or work well.

One time, the VP snapped at me because they were questioning why I am using a PDF presentation instead of the original PowerPoint.  In reality there was no secret as to why am using a PDF. But it was a request the VP asked me to do at that point.

Anyway, to make this story short, the VP thought I was using them and that they wouldn’t work to run videos or animations. The VP had jumped to this conclusion as they were not present during the morning session.

To be honest, I find it very hard to work with people who micro-manage to death, as there is a lack of trust and a whole bag of problems that they are insecure about and you can’t change that. I was silly enough to think I could try, in end they wore me out.

For my own peace of mind, I decided to find ways to deal with it, given that there was no one on the team brave enough to tell them they needed to pull back and let people do their jobs.

Everyone was walking on egg-shells and they have gotten used to it. When I started to voice my take on it, it caused tension and angered the VP. It came across as I was undermining the VP and not following their instructions. At this point you are probably asking yourself, what about your Executive, have you brought this to the Execs attention? The answer is yes, and my Exec told me to ignore the VP, but ignoring does not make the problem go away as my Executive just did not want to be put in the middle.

To summarize my findings on this situation; can you change the behavior? No, you cannot. The effect from dealing with a situation like this varies.  I felt less motivated, distant, silenced and frustrated. I was also angry because I felt insulted that my knowledge, experience and skills did not matter. I felt that because I was new to the organization and did not put in the time, therefore I have no say and there is no place for new ideas. My new ideas were rejected and stifled every time.

How do you manage in such a toxic environment when changing jobs is not an option for the time being. Well you are in luck; because I am about share few tips with you that might be helpful. It worked for my peace of mind. The situation had not changed, but my way of thinking had to change.

• When a task is handed over by a micro-managing person, accept graciously and be prepared to ask questions. It makes them feel important…. It’s a good start to keep them at bay.
• Re-phrase back to them what the ask was, because it makes them feel in control
• Commit to a time when you will update them, and how you will update them
• Copy them on all your email communications, even the silly ones (they want to be in know, it’s silly I know! Just do it for your peace of mind)
• At some point you might feel like a two year old, reporting, asking permission to send something or change a word in an email communication, or even choose a food menu for catering. God forbid you do that without letting them know if something goes wrong it will be your fault; so you better run the big or small stuff by the person. Remember they want to be in control, let them.
• Whatever task or steps they need you to follow or do first, just nod in agreement and get it done their way. I know that sounds passive but believe me you can’t fight against the wave. Might as well join in and hope it will run its course. They will eventually burn out.
• It will drive you nuts thinking about their working style and some days might be long. Just keep reminding yourself “for my peace of mind”. It’s a power struggle so let them have the power and control.
• It’s not about you, it’s about them. They are over compensating for their own insecurities, don’t put that baggage on you.
• When all else fails, get through the day and get home, have a drink of wine to relax and forget (it does not make the problem go away, it’s for humor)

Lastly, as a reminder, they will burn out from their own actions as they want to keep their hands everywhere and juggle so many balls at the same time. It is next to impossible to run a successful team in that manner. There is always an end to something, whether you change a job moving on, or if that is not the case wait it out because they do burn out. Your executive will step up when it truly affects their success. Until then, unfortunately, the pattern most likely will remain unchanged.