10 Tips to Becoming an Empathic Leader

Empathetic Leadership, until recently, has long been an overlooked soft skill as a performance indicator. It means having the ability to understand others’ needs by being aware of their thoughts and feelings. However, research today has shown that to be a successful leader; it is critical to become more “person-focused” to work with people from various backgrounds, countries, cultures, and departments.

Empathy is an ability that is well worth cultivating and a valued currency that allows leaders to bond with their team members. Several studies link empathy to the success of business results, and increased and enhanced managers’ performance. A few of the studies can be found here The Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in organizations.

So, is Empathy, thinking, or emotions? Based on some of the research and reading I stumble on, it’s both the ability to use our reasoning skills to understand feelings, thoughts, reactions, concerns, and motives. This means we genuinely need to make an effort to stop and think for a moment about the other’s person perspective to begin to understand where they are coming from. In addition, we need our emotional capacity to care for that individual’s concern. Caring does not mean we agree with the other person but instead compassionately understanding what the other person is going through for us to respond in a manner that honors and acknowledges their thoughts, feelings, and concerns.

Some leaders are naturally and consistently empathic, and there are some that empathy doesn’t come naturally to them. The good news for those who would like to develop or increase their empathy skills there is practical ways of doing so. Here’s are some tips to get you started:

 

1. Listen – truly listen (this where your active listening skills are needed), listen to understand others’ points of view, listen with your heart, pay attention to the tone, hidden emotions, and context of what they are saying. Listen to understand, not formulate your answers. Give them your undivided attention; let them feel they matter and the conversation matter.

2. Don’t Interrupt – Let the person say what they need to say without rushing or growing impatient. Don’t always rush to provide solutions, fixes, or advice because you want to get to the bottom of it (getting to the meat & potatoes style) is a turnoff, don’t dismiss the person’s concern too quickly.

3. Be Fully Present – tune in to non-verbal communication; frequently, there is a lot that wasn’t said in verbal communication. You can often get a good read of feelings and thoughts that weren’t expressed if you pay close attention to nonverbal communication. (in simple terms, hone into your intuition)

4. Take a Personal Interest – take a genuine interest, be curious, show interest by asking them questions about their lives, challenges, aspirations, and families. It’s a personal interest that is the way to build the strongest bond and relationships. When you lack empathy, all your interactions are transactional and business-like, others will approach with their guards up, and everyone feels excluded and looking after their interests. But with an empathic leader, everyone can be open about how they feel or think without being judged, dismiss, or ignored with an empathic leader.

5. Give Genuine Recognition – pay attention to people’s effort; give praise by spending a little effort to make your words genuine and memorable. Catch people doing the right things.

6. Encourage the Quiet Ones – In meetings, there are always one or two who speaks the most, and then you have the quiet ones who never speak for some reason even when there are ideas that can save time, engage with them, empower, and encourage them to speak or share their ideas. So it is the simple act of empowering the quiet ones to participate and speak to have everyone around engage and connect to the goal or the big picture.

7. Watch your Body Language – empathic leaders understand verbal and un-verbal often; non-verbal communication is reading between the lines of what was not said that has more to offer than words are said. Be aware of your own body language and how you come across when you are communicating with others. Remain open, listen, lean-to when people speak, and show interest in the conversation.

8. Smile and Be Courteous with People – This means no show of short, prickly, or curt responses and volatile moods. Everyone has good days and bad days. However, an empathic leader understands how to self-regulate their emotions to prevent outbursts, temper, or offensive behaviors. It is (understandable we are humans and not robots, we do require an outlet of some sort to deal with, so close your office doors, go for a walk, take time to unmask and deal with your stresses or strong emotions but don’t project on people) or better yet talk about your stressors allow your staff to see that you are human after all.

9. Leave Judgment Behind – Even when other people’s views and feelings disagree with yours, there is no judgment, and don’t try to change their views. But as empathic leaders, it’s an opportunity to learn about their perceptions and the world’s view to better understand their experiences and expressions.

10. Use People’s Names – remember the names of the spouses and children so you can refer to them by name. An empathic leader sees and values people’s connections. They are more than just a number within their organization.

 

In summary, Empathy should not be random; it should be a daily habit. It is not a deck of cards you pull out when you feel like it and pull back when you don’t. It is not mood dependent; it is a practice and habit.  If put into practice, it is well worth it and key to leadership success. Empathy is a thinking and emotional muscle that becomes stronger and better with use. Leading from within is the best kind of strength in building and enhancing your leadership skills and becoming more of an empathic leader.